CENTER POINT
THE CENTER FOR SELF-CHANGE NEWSLETTER

Vol. 5, No. 3 - March, 2011

LET THEM DRIVE THROUGH THE HOLES

J. Kingston Cowart
. "The Change Maker"

Lately I have noticed an increasing number of vehicles stranded on the shoulders of freeways here in the greater San Diego region. There have also been a surprising number of ski lift and other mechanical breakdowns in resort areas.

It seems to me that these breakdowns may have the same cause: insufficient funds for proper maintenance.

In a recession like the current one (they say it's over but is it?) people and corporations are naturally going to spend more money on covering immediate concerns than on avoiding future ones.

People all over the country are anxious about the future nonetheless.

There's plenty to worry about:

• More mortgage defaults coming in 2011

• Bizarre weather worldwide (torrential rains, unprecedented floods, massive mud slides)

• Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions

• Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, North Korea, Tunisia, Egypt and a new war in Libya

• Criminal violence in Mexico extending into US border states

• Danger of economic collapse in parts of Europe and elsewhere

• Nuclear disaster in Japan and its effect on the world economy

• And the biggest one of all­fear that we or our spouses (or both) will lose our jobs and/or homes before    long.

This has all led, I think, to another kind of breakdown I see on the freeways around town.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about.

Driving northbound on I -15, I began to move safely into the right lane so I could take Clairemont Mesa Blvd. A car behind me and to my right immediately sped up so that I couldn't change lanes. I slowed down. So did the man driving the other car. I sped up. He sped up. I slowed way down and he matched me. Then I romped my 455 hp engine into overdrive and zoomed up and over so fast he could do nothing about it.

At that point he changed lanes to the left and continued northbound toward Los Angeles!

He never had any intention of taking Clairemont Mesa Blvd. His only goal was to see to it that I missed the exit for it!

Many other people I know have had similar experiences. There has always been some of this sort of thing from time to time, of course, but now it really seems to be an almost daily occurrence.

I think that for many people it comes from a breakdown in their sense of being in control of their lives.

That driver the other day may not have control of the economy, or his boss, or what's happening to his family­but for that brief time he felt he could control a stranger on the freeway.

Everywhere I look I see people (both men and women) speeding, following too closely, driving like the road is a race track, weaving in and out of traffic, trying to push other drivers into moving over, scaring people­and sometimes causing accidents.

These are dangerous, reckless, and illegal maneuvers­and I think people do them in order to have a fleeting sense of power in a world in which they otherwise feel powerless.

That's why I leave lots of room between my car and the one in front of it. I want anyone who feels like it to be able to pull in ahead of me. When that happens, I back off and leave plenty of space for the next one.

The only way for us all to be safe when so many drivers choose to act out their frustrations on the roadway is to let them drive through the holes we make for them.

It makes no sense to challenge them at 65 miles per hour.

If I had not been able to get ahead of the man who tried to keep me from changing lanes when I did, I would simply have gone on to the next exit and then doubled back. I would have been willing to lose some time­but not my mind!

This same principle applies to our dealings with others elsewhere as well.

People are frustrated and overwhelmed by everything that's going on. They can therefore be hard to deal with at work, in the supermarket, the parking lot, sports events ... anywhere we might encounter them.

Many times when a coworker makes some sort of compensatory power move­either to block us or to "take over the road"­our best maneuver is to give them some room. Give them a hole to drive through before they crash into you or someone else.

If they keep it up, eventually their "crazy driving" on the job will come to the attention of others who can do more about it than you can.

Just the other day, I had the deep, smiling satisfaction of seeing a CHP unit pull one of those idiot drivers over. I had my eye on the situation and the officer did just what I used to do. He waited long enough to let the fool 1) speed, 2) follow too closely, and 3) weave in and out of traffic.

I am certain that driver got written up for each of those violations­and one more!

Because he had committed all three of them he was also guilty of reckless driving.

That's going to cost him in court­and in new, far higher insurance premiums.

Let them drive through the holes.

It actually leaves us in control.

It enables us to keep everything safer and calmer wherever we are.

And often enough they eventually drive themselves into getting exactly what they deserve!

J. Kingston Cowart

J. Kingston Cowart

 JOIN THE CENTER CIRCLE

It's easy. Every Wednesday
for a few minutes between
10:00 and Noon sit down and
turn inward - through prayer,
meditation, self-hypnosis or
any modality you choose -
and send out good thoughts
to everyone else in the circle.

I'll be there. How about you?

J. Kingston Cowart
619.561.9012
Post Office Box 19005
San Diego CA 92159
jkcowart@self-change.com

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