CENTER POINT THE CENTER FOR SELF-CHANGE NEWSLETTER
Vol. 4, No. 11 - November, 2010
THE FIRST MOVE IS ALWAYS NEVER OURS
J. Kingston Cowart . "The Change Maker"
Many times in life we are encouraged to "take the initiative," to be a "self-starter," and to "make it happen."
That can often be good advice—but only when we recognize the essential limits of the human condition.
The most important limitation we face is that the first move is always never ours.
We never ever have the initial initiative.
Here's a simple proof statement of that inarguable fact: "I was born in San Diego." That is profoundly and very significantly different from "I work in San Diego."
The first statement takes the passive voice, the second one takes the active voice. Working in San Diego is something that I do. Being born here is something that happened to me.
Work is something I can undertake. Birth is something I can only undergo.
So even at the very beginning of my life, existence had the first move. I did not put myself here—and everything following my birth has come in response to that.
Therefore, every time "I take the initiative" it is in reaction to something else which precedes it.
I can never really be a true "self-starter" because I did not start myself in the first place. Every aspect of my life is conditioned by that reality.
Does that mean that everything in my life is somehow absolutely predetermined?
In my opinion, certainly not.
Some psychologists tried to make that argument for a few decades. Their position was that we are nothing but conditioned-response machines. B. F. Skinner and John Watson, in particular were notorious proponents of what came to be called radical behaviorism. Very few researchers and hardly any practitioners accept that idea today.
In philosophy, the the view that everything is caused in one way or another by something which preceded it is called determinism. Its religious corollary is referred to as predeterminism—the most extreme expression of which is known as predestination.
Taken in moderation, both determinism and predeterminism leave room for limited freedom in human action. A past action or event may create conditions in which a certain number of resulting choices then arise. Which choice we make is up to us; and it subsequently determines the next set of choices on down the line.
Therefore, although the first move is never ours, those moves which are ours must never be underestimated.
Every move I make while driving my car, for instance, is in response to what is going on around me—and what has happened on other occasions as well. If another driver swerves toward me, I take appropriate action—and if conditions permit, a collision is avoided.
I am only able to make that move, however, if I have previously chosen to learn to drive.
That really was my choice!
And yet I made it because "I was born in San Diego" where being able to drive is almost always a prerequisite to being able to "work in San Diego."
Had I been brought forth in a different time and place, driving might have been completely out of the question.
And I am able to avoid a collision only if conditions permit.
The main point here comes down to this: I ought never to think I can get ahead of myself.
I must never allow myself to believe that I am a completely free agent. I must take care to understand my limitations, because to violate them is to risk making disastrous mistakes in life.
If we think of driving again, the fool who thinks he can "own the road"—recklessly driving any way he pleases—will eventually cause a traffic accident.
It is no different at home or work or anywhere else.
When we habitually put ourselves in the driver's seat, consciously or unconsciously expecting that whatever we want to happen will happen, then disaster must inevitably strike.
Some years ago, a man who had apparently "ruled the roost" for 25 years told me his life turned into a "train wreck" the day his wife walked out. He came home and she was gone for good. He was stunned.
In shocked disbelief he said: "I never told her she could do that!"
He had thought every move in their relationship was up to him.
And yet, even when she left, the first move was not hers either. It was a response to his foolish failure to recognize his own limitations—and hers (she had reached the end of what she would put up with).
The best way to avoid that kind of outcome can be seen in another truth about driving.
Good drivers do not try to force traffic to obey their whims. They flow with traffic conditions instead. They go through the empty spaces, driving "through the holes," rather than smashing into a space already taken (or about to be taken) by another car.
In the same way, those who live wisely never attempt to force existence to operate on their terms.
They respond to life as it is. They learn its rules and their limitations within those rules—knowing that the first move is always never their own.
J. Kingston Cowart
JOIN THE CENTER CIRCLE
It's easy. Every Wednesday for a few minutes between 10:00 and Noon sit down and turn inward - through prayer, meditation, self-hypnosis or any modality you choose - and send out good thoughts to everyone else in the circle.
I'll be there. How about you?
J. Kingston Cowart 619.561.9012 Post Office Box 19005 San Diego CA 92159 jkcowart@self-change.com
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