CENTER POINT THE CENTER FOR SELF-CHANGE NEWSLETTER
Vol. 4, No. 8 - August, 2010
THE DEVIL HAS TWO HORNS
J. Kingston Cowart
Have you ever been the newbie at work and encountered someone who wanted to be your friend? Did he or she offer a measure of reassurance, compliments, and even useful tips on how to get along in your new job?
Did you then begin to sense that your new friend had an agenda—some kind of office politics—and was trying to recruit you to one side or the other?
Such people usually start out treating us nicely enough, but actually only as a way to control us. When we resist, we find things becoming very uncomfortable.
If we begin to back off—not wanting to get involved in someone else's conflicts—they then turn against us and start to treat us badly.
Here are some thoughts that may help give you some perspective on that sort of thing when someone like that tries to control or otherwise bedevil you.
Whether accepted as an actual evil being or simply acknowledged as a mythological figure, the Devil has generally been depicted in Western art as a demon with two horns.
Why two? Why not only one horn—or half a dozen?
Some have said that the Devil's two horns represent pride and despair, two powerful internal human emotions. That seems valid enough to me, as far as it goes.
If we look again, however, I think they also represent temptation (seduction) and intimidation (fear)—which are outward reflections of pride and despair.
When troublemakers want to control us they usually try to hook us first with the horn of seduction, tempting us with false approval, feigned friendship, and insincere flattery. Sometimes it works. Often it doesn't. When it works it is usually because we want to be nice, to be friendly, to cooperate, to fit in, and to avoid unpleasantness.
When it doesn't work—either right away or after we've "had enough" of it—it's often because we just don't like being manipulated. We decide to stand up for ourselves.
That's when they try to hook us with the horn of intimidation. They may use unjust sanctions against us, or the withdrawal of contact (the cold shoulder). They may gossip about us, telling lies to turn others against us. They may even try to sabotage our work as well as our reputations.
The best way to deal with either of the Devil's two horns is through distance.
The horns can't harm you if you keep well away from them.
That way seduction doesn't succeed and intimidation doesn't last.
The truth is that when we cease to respond to either seduction or intimidation, our devils tend to go away.
In extreme cases we may have to go to human resources—but, frankly, in today's world human resources personnel don't want to deal with employee conflicts. They tend to assign joint blame and then do nothing.
The Devil, whether real or mythological, characteristically feeds off desire and fear.
So do all the little devils who want to make trouble for others.
In most cases, even though they're still around, once we decide to desire nothing from them and choose not to fear them, they lose all power over us.
Try it you'll like it!
JOIN THE CENTER CIRCLE
It's easy. Every Wednesday for a few minutes between 10:00 and Noon sit down and turn inward - through prayer, meditation, self-hypnosis or any modality you choose - and send out good thoughts to everyone else in the circle.
I'll be there. How about you?
J. Kingston Cowart 619.561.9012 Post Office Box 19005 San Diego CA 92159 jkcowart@self-change.com
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